Thank God Kate Moss Wore Tights. Because I’m Pretty Sure Bowie Didn’t.

Apart from the heartfelt acknowledgment of the passings of Trevor Bolder and Lou Reed, Bowie’s been kind of silent the past year — although not completely. We have a few random quotes (and word lists) delivered mostly through second-hand accounts, specifically:

And now (drum roll), the Brit Award acceptance speech delivered by Kate Moss, wearing the old Ziggy costume — which I hope has been laundered at least a few times since 1972 and hey, doesn’t it seem wider on Kate than it did on David? This was the costume I stared at (and stared at) when it was on display at the V&A because it was just so damn small. If Kate’s wearing the same one they must have scraped up extra fabric from somewhere.

Through Kate, David said:

“In Japanese myth the rabbits from my old costume that Kate’s wearing live on the moon. Kate comes from Venus and I’m from Mars, so that’s nice. I’m completely delighted to have a Brit for being the best male, but I am, aren’t I Kate? I think it’s a great way to end the day.’Thank you very, very much and Scotland – stay with us.”

In other words, “I don’t have too much to say so let me scribble some words on a napkin. And hey, when was the last time you heard a Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus reference? Why don’t I throw one in here.”

Really, there could not have been a more well-planned, strategically choreographed non-appearance.

And the Scotland thing. I’m having a memory of my high school french teacher, the one from France, who seemed quite exotic to me in my small Canadian town. At the time, it was all about Quebec secession and she said the most striking thing, un-politically-correct (in English Canada): “I think if they want to leave, then fine, they should leave.” As English Canadians we were always indoctrinated that Quebec leaving was an affront to the union. But now I’m in the same camp as my high school French teacher. If they want to leave, fine. Let them go. Isn’t it an imposition on their freedom if a majority wants to create their own country and we deny them the right to do so? As for Scotland, I don’t know much, except they have the world’s coolest accents and Alan Cumming does the best American accent on U.S. television.

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